Last kiss
by morgana starfire
Summary: When you feel like your alone in the world and no one cares, what would you do? What if it was the worst mistake of your life? Warning:  suicide, disturbing images with blood and gore content.  Not for the squeamish.  ZaDr..?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim**

**Warnings: If you don't like slash, blood and stuff do not read. Not sure where this story is going, so I can't say how it will turn out. It could end up being the weirdest of all my writings, since my favorite holiday is coming up (Halloween) so we shall see O_o  
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**authors rants: **I really need to get back on my meds, curse you depression, curse you! I'm going to go cuddle up on the couch and watch some IZ now, I think a full day watching horror movies just makes me...insane...in a good way...is that possible?...put the knife down and slowly back away, oh wait that's a mirror...**  
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Dib did nothing as Zim punched him in the gut and he doubled over. He grabbed a handful of the Dib's hair and yanked it back, peering down into his face.

"You're up to something Dib-worm, Zim can tell."

Dib only laughed and it sent chills down Zim's spine. He let go in disgust and shoved at the pathetic hyuuman.

"Get out."

"I'm serious Zim, all of it's yours. I don't need it anymore. If you don't want it then destroy it, throw it away, do whatever you want with it."

Dib shrugged, got up and left. He left all the equipment he had lugged over sitting on the floor, he really wasn't going to need it anymore. He made his way back home to the empty house. Dad was still away working on whatever new project had come along and Gaz was away somewhere for the weekend. She never tended to elaborate and he never cared to ask.

He was alone, always alone it seemed. It felt so oddly quiet and he stood for a moment in the silence. Dib felt at peace inside, after having made his decision. Sure there some pangs of regret, but what normal person didn't have those, even those who had lived a full life cycle.

Dib made his way to his room and sat down on his bed. His room felt bare, empty. He had taken all the photos of Zim and burned them, leaving no evidence. All his computer and software was now at Zims for the alien to do what he pleased with it. There would be no note, as he had nothing to say to his Dad or to Gaz. And no one else would care.

He turned the TV on, his favorite show Mysterious Mysteries was going to start soon. Dib took his coat off, laid it on his empty desk and sat back against the wall on his bed as the TV's glow fell over him, the only light within the room.

He had debated on how to do it. A gun just seemed too messy, and drugs to iffy. He clicked open the pocket knife and stared at the sharp edge a moment before he placed it against his wrist and pressed down hard as he pulled it across. He hissed with the pain, but it really wasn't all that bad. He'd taken worse during some fights with Zim. He held it up and watched the blood gush from the open wound, covering his arm. It all looked really fascinating. Switching hands he did the same thing to his other wrist.

The deed done he rested back against the wall as his show played, his blood pooling, soaking into his clothes, the bed. The room was getting colder and he shivered slightly knowing that it would pass soon. He sighed and closed his eyes, letting the darkness creeping on the edge of his vision take him. Finally, it was all over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim**

**Warning: Nothing for this chapter**

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**Last Kiss**

**Chapter 2: Beyond the wall of sleep**

_**I have frequently wondered if the majority of mankind ever pause to reflect upon the occasionally titanic significance of dreams, and of the obscure world to which they belong. **_**-HP Lovecraft, Beyond the wall of Sleep.**

"How are his vital signs?"

"Steady. Blood pressure is back to normal. We had to transfuse three pints of blood."

"I heard there was an incident as they brought him in."

The resident shifted nervously as his eyes shifted about the room, not wanting to linger long on the boy asleep under the heavy sedation.

"The patient had begun to regain consciousness as they brought him in. He reacted so fast and violently it took five of us to hold him down, by then he had ripped out the tubes and bandages already in place, causing extensive injuries to one wrist. He also bit one of the medics, took a nice chuck out of his arm. Another has some deep gashes from his nails that needed stitches, and even the nurse has a black eye. I know this sounds crazy, but I swear with the look in that kid's eyes he would have killed us all if he had had the chance."

The doctor's brows furrowed as he looked at the file in his hands. Yes he knew this one quite well, knew his father too. But he had never shown violent tendencies before. Was more of the delusional, whimsical fantasy type, not this disturbing vehement display of anger or rage.

"Has his family been contacted yet?"

"Not yet, though we did leave a message with his father's secretary to contact us as soon as possible."

"Who called it in?"

The resident just shook his head. "No one knows who it was. He was alone in the house when they found him. If they had been any later he may not have made it. "

The doctor looked back down at the report he had been given. Someone had been in that house. Someone had tried to stop the bleeding, had wrapped bandages around the wounds. It just didn't make any sense.

"Lessen the sedatives, but let's keep him restrained until I have time to assess him. I'll see if I can't contact his father again."

* * *

He felt strange. Heavy and light at the same time, alone but needed, a part of him wanted to drift but there was also something that anchored him down. Where was he? What happened? The laughter, the pleasure of..something. There was also something fearsome, terrifying, it was there for just a moment and just as quickly gone. He struggled to remember what it was. He shivered, but he wasn't cold. IT was there, IT wanted out. HE wanted out.

Dib struggled to open his eyes, why was it so hard? Shapes blurred before him, the soft whispers of voices. His thoughts and dreams drained away like water and forgotten.

Slowly the room came into focus, a nurse was taking his vital writing them down. He felt confused and it must have shown on his face.

"Hello Dib, how are you feeling?"

Dib blinked at the man that was sitting in the chair next to his bed. It took him a moment and then everything came flooding back. He hung his head and looked away from the doctor. Dr. Perkins, which meant he was back at the asylum. How did he fail yet again?

"I've contacted your family, I'm sure they will be here soon."

"Has my father even returned your call yet?" Dib quietly asked.

Silence, so not even this was enough. He felt disappointment even though he had expected it. No, they were tired of coming to this place just as he was. They wouldn't come.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Dib just kept his face turned away, he tried to move his arms but they wouldn't move very far. He looked down to see that they had restrained him. He just relaxed his body back into the bed, he wasn't even going to fight it. Not anymore. He was too tired.

"Why did you attack the doctors and the nurses, the EMT's? They were only trying to help you."

"What?" Dib looked over at Dr. Perkins.

"When they brought you in and you started too wake up, started to attack them. You seriously injured a few of them."

Dib just stared at him trying to remember anything like that happening. His mind was a total blank.

"I don't remember anything like that." His voice was strained. He would never do that, was slightly sickened as Dr. Perkins told him the details. After all he had dedicated his whole life to protecting them. Well, until recently anyways. But he would never do something like that. "I would never hurt people like that on purpose." He added in a whisper.

Dr. Perkins looked at him a moment, then wrote some things down in his chart.

"Yes, with your past history I have never seen you act aggressive towards anyone in a harmful way. I am going to put you on some anti-depressants, perhaps a little ativan to help with your anxiety, help you sleep." He leaned over and undid the restraints on Dibs hands. They were still heavily bandage and had begun to throb. "Nurse Carla here will give you something for the pain. And if you need anything else you may ask Jared here for anything."

Dib looked over at Jared. He looked to be in his late twenties, his white standard hospital scrubs tight across his chest and arms. He stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed as he watched Dib. Looks like they weren't going to let him be alone anytime soon. Bummer.

"Whenever you feel like talking just have them page me. I will see you again later tonight." Dr. Perkins stood to leave and he was just about to the door when Dib asked him. Asked him the one question that had been bothering him.

"How did you know?" The question didn't need any other explanation.

"It was an anonymous phone call. We barely got to you in time. Do you know who it might have been?"

Dib only shook his head no.

Dad was gone, Gaz wouldn't have cared. There was no one else.

Zim?

Was that even possible? Zim hated him too. Or was he just mad because he wasn't the one killing him. Either way it didn't matter. He was only back at square one. There were always other options.

Dr. Perkins just looked at him a moment before he too turned and left.

Dib drifted back to sleep with the drugs still coursing through him. But it would be a long, long time before he ever got a peaceful night sleep again.

**a/n: This is definately going to be a horror story just a warning. Thanks to Invader Ang and UxieSweetie!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own invader Zim or make any money off of this**

**Warnings: A few swear words, other than that nothing for this chapter**

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**Chapter 3. Something Wicked This Way Comes**

"**By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes. Open, locks, whoever knocks!"**

**William Shakespeare, **_**Macbeth**_** - Act IV, Scene I**

Dib jolted awake, drenched in sweat. His breathing was erratic heart hammering. His scream echoing through the house. Someone was shaking him, slapped him across the face. He blinked until the face came into focus.

"Snap out of it Dib!" Gaz yelled at him. "God I am so sick of this. It's the same thing every fucking night."

Dib tried to get his breathing under control as Gaz pulled back. She looked at him is disgust, turned and marched out of his room, slamming his door behind her. He ran a shaking hand through his damp hair. What was wrong with him? He hadn't been able to have a decent night sleep ever since that night he had…

Shaking his head slightly Dib got out of bed. He glanced at the clock. It was only two a.m. He quickly dressed and quietly headed out of the house. It had been almost three weeks since then, and he had been home just this last week. Dr. Perkins couldn't see the point of keeping him at the asylum. Dib had shown no other odd behavior, besides his nightmares, and he couldn't even remember those after he woke up.

He was going to have to tell the doctor that the meds to help him sleep weren't helping. Two weeks and he had seen his father just briefly when he picked him up. Neither of them had said a word to each other, and Gaz only to threaten him or remind him of what a failure he was.

Dib somehow ended up at some park and sat in a swing. There was no one out at his hour, the streets quiet. The occasional dog bark filled the air. He furrowed his brows as he tried to remember what his dreams were. It really bothered him that he could remember…nothing.

A chill ran down his back and he quickly looked behind him. It felt like eyes were on him, watching him. Dib quickly moved off the swing and decided to make his way back home. Each step he took seemed to get harder and harder, the ground seemed to waver making him stumble. He leaned back against a wall, gasping for breath.

"Hey are you okay?" An older man paused to ask him, his dog at his side whined and began to bark at Dib. "Quiet Max." But the dog wouldn't stop.

Dib was getting light headed everything seemed to be moving around him and he slid down the wall. He felt like he couldn't breathe and he clutched at his chest gasping.

"I can't..breathe" Dib got out, but everything was going black and that annoying dog just kept barking.

"HEY, get up shit head! Dad said you have to go to Skool today!" Gaz yelled at him.

Dib sat up in bed and blinked. What, how? He looked down at himself, he was back in his bed, in his pajamas. Hadn't he left the house early this morning? He couldn't recall coming back home and he usually just stayed dressed afterwards. Did he just dream about going out? He sighed and got out of bed. He was dreading going back to Skool.

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Zim watched Dib, his eyes narrowed on the slumped figure that made his way to Skool. There was something wrong with him. And he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. Dib might not be aware of it, yet, but his life belonged to Zim now. And Dib was now his responsibility to look after. But whatever had possessed Zim to do so he wasn't sure yet himself.

When Zim had checked to see what the worm-baby was up to he had been surprised, then furious that the boy would take such a coward's way out. And maybe just a bit of fear that he would never admit to. He had watched him every night since he had come home, knew of his nightmares. His late night walks alone. More than once he was tempted to speak to the stupid big-head, but something always held him back.

And then he had _that_ mess to clean up last night, and Dib seemed oblivious to it. Zim wanted to see how much the dirt child remembered from it first. Maybe he really was crazy like everyone said he was. No, he never showed anything like this before. This was something new, something that even sent shivers down Zim's spine.

Finally it was the dreaded lunch time. Zim made his way towards Dib who had gone outside and was sitting alone.

"Hello Dib-thing."

"H-hi Zim." Dib seemed nervous and looked around for a way out, Zim only grinned at that. He liked to make the boy uncomfortable.

"Rough night last night?" Zim leaned down low next to him grabbing his wrists and pulled them towards him. Dib tried to jerk them back, but Zim was stronger than he was. Zim pushed back the trench coat sleeves and looked at the red, ragged scars that were there. Zim lightly rubbed his thumbs over them. Dib shivered from the light touch.

"It was you wasn't it?" Dib whispered. "You called them. Why?"

Zim's grip tightened a moment on Dib's wrist before he dropped them and then leaned in towards Dib's face, making his anger quite evident as he glared at him. "You belong to me now Dib, your life is mine. I can claim it whenever I want." He hissed low.

He saw the fear in his eyes, watched him lick his dry lips with nervousness. Good, let him squirm with fear, this could be fun. But then Dib's eyes darkened a moment, a deep blackness that made Zim frown and Dib just smiled slightly at him. It was just a moment before they seemed to turn back to the golden brown. And then Dib's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he passed out.

Zim didn't think Dib had any idea of what happened last night, but now he wasn't so sure. He was going to have to keep a close eye on his new pet.

**a/n: Thanks for the reviews, I know this is going to be a strange one O_o, but interesting to write hehehe...**


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